Sometimes you just wonder why???

I feel like I have been asking that question a lot lately. Not that I am perfect at this, but on most days I'm pretty content with the knowledge that God has a sweet and perfect plan for mine and my husbands life. But then the days creep in where I ask why and I want to know what that plan is. Would I really be more content if I knew plan or would I just have more stress and anxiety. I'm sure it is the latter of the two. But in theory knowing is better, right?

Well one of my guilty pleasures is recording/ watching 16 and Pregnant and the Teen Mom series. I don't know why but I like watching these girls lives and seeing how they deal with the reality of a baby at a young age when their life is often unstable. Let's not even get into those who abuse and neglect their kids. Let's just talk about those who don't want their babies, who are still 'babies' themselves having babies, who abort they babies. I just ask why so much lately. Why does God give them the wonderful gift of a sweet baby when they don't want it and are too young to even know what to do when I'm here longing for a baby everyday. Literally, my heart aches some days. So why I torture myself with these shows I have no idea? I end up crying by the end anyway. I do try to remember to say a prayer for that mom and/or dad and baby when the show is over though.

Then there is miscarriages. Now for some reason this is a little easier for me to deal with. I tell myself that it was part of God's plan and that my body, or some one elses body, couldn't be a good home for that baby right now so God takes them early for him to enjoy his beautiful creation. But why are miscarriages everywhere? It is so heartbreaking for all the mommy's to be who long for a baby and are excited for a baby.

I've been trying to tell myself that I need to get healthy first and take care of my health needs first and then my body will be ready for a baby. But on most days that isn't enough to ease the heartache. Now I'm started grad school this summer and I'm hoping that will help also. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly happy right now. I love my husband and the life we are making together so much. I love my job this year. I love the quality friends have made this year. I love spending time with each of our families and the traveling we can do together. I love being spontaneous with my hubby and getting away for the weekend. I could go on and on. But I'll be incredibly joyful when the Lord deems me worthy to carry one of his perfect creations, when he chooses my hubby and I to raise one of his little humans. So until then I'll be praying to be content in all circumstances, count my blessings everyday and relish in God's beautiful babies all around me.

On a note of progress, for the first time in 9-10 months, a friend announced they're pregnant and I didn't cry! I'm always genuinely happy for them, but this time I didn't feel bad for myself!

Moving

I feel like I have spent the last decade of my life moving. I have really enjoyed each place I've been to, visited and made my home. What's weird is that before I was 17 I never moved. I lived in The Woodlands, Texas and even in the same house from 3-17. Then my whole world changed when my dad got a job transfer to Oklahoma. This was the spring break of my junior year in high school. The 'ironic' thing is that I had already been accepted to OBU only 45 miles from their soon to be new home. As a family we made the tough decision that I would stay behind and finish high school. So here is my first move since being a toddler. That summer my family moves to Edmond, OK and I move in with one of my many Aunts and Uncles, Christi and Jarred. This turned out to be such a fun, memorable and unique senior year of high school. Of course I end up spending a ton of weekends "commuting" to see my parents in OK.

High School graduation comes in 2003 and I move to spend the summer with my family in Edmond. Only to move that August to start off 4 wonderful years of college at OBU, the only college I applied to. So of course if you have ever lived on campus at a college, its not year around. So I live as a freshman in WMU, move home for the summer. I move in 2004 to a new dorm, Taylor and move home again for the summer. I move into on campus apts in 2005, but of course back home for the summer. 1 year left, 2006, and my treasured roomie and I move off campus. We move out graduation day.

I spend the summer interning in Edmond and treasuring every moment with my family and friends. Because in August I fly LITERALLY half way around the world to live in Moscow, Russia in 2007. I know it sounds crazy but it was an awesome 2 years of my life. I live in an apt. in Moscow on Sergei Makeava for the first year. Of course I came home for the summer. My second year in Russia of course we moved to a new apt. Let's just say I like moving in American a whole lot better. We finish our time in Moscow and are surprisingly ready to go home in the summer of 2009.

I move to my parents mid June 2009, get engaged in September and live out my engagement with mi familia in Edmond. The love of my life and I get married July 17, 2010. We get our lovely first little married apt. in Edmond. We live there till Dec of that year. We had the opportunity to move to Oklahoma City, for free, so we do. We live downtown OKC from December to June 2011. We spend about a month out of town and about 6 weeks sporadically at my parents house that summer.

In August 2011 we pick up and move to Shawnee. Little did we know this would completely change our lives. I got a job teaching Kindergarten. If you know me, you know I had once said I would never do this. Who knew I would completely fall in love with these sweet 5/6 year old babies. After teaching for 4 years and questioning if this was really my calling, I now have a renewed love and passion for teaching. So we moved our bodies and stuff but didn't plan on leaving our church that we dearly loved, HHBC. By Oct we knew God had completely different plans for us, so typical right. We end up visiting and LOVING a church called Frontline here in Shawnee. The people there are a lot of what has changed our lives here.

Anyways I wrote all this just to give a glimpse as to some of the cool things God has done in my life. I think its kind of fascinate to see all the places he has moved me, people I have met in those places and the plans he has had for my life that I clearly I didn't have.

And if I counted right, that's 17 moves from 2003 to 2012. I hope to stay in this house at lease a year!

I'm back!!

I think I'm finally ready to come back to the world of blogging! I just spent forever trying to clean this mess up. I saw that I haven't posted since Nov. 2010! That's forever ago. So I had to block people who posted weird comments and update everything. If I blocked you, no offence, I just don't know who you are.

When I moved home from Russia I just felt like my life wasn't that exciting so I kinda got away from it. I was in a new place in my life. I was finally back around my family after 2 years away. I was newly engaged. And I wanted to focus on those relationships and not spend a lot of time on the computer. Well now I have been married a year and 9 months (almost) and we are in the swing of things so now I have more time for this. I am personally commiting to not spending time on the computer when my hubby is home. With his hectic/ busy coaching schedule I only get him for a bit of time each day. So I will cherish that time and save my fun social computer stuff for when he is at work.

I really enjoy reading some of my friends posts that they link to Facebook and keeping up with people that way. It seems a bit more personal than just Facebook. I still don't feel like my life is quite as exciting as it was for my 2 years in Moscow but I shall post anyway!

I also haven't figured out how to only let people with a password view the blog, but I did figure out how to approve comments first. So hopefully that will help!

Almost a year later...

I haven't kept up with my blog at all this year! And looking at all those creepy comments on an old post now I'm nervous too.

I'll give it a try anyway though. I have a lot to be thankful for this year. I married the most amazing man God has created 4 months ago. I feel like this was one of the best decisions of my life. I'm so thankful for a loving family who has not only loved me inspite of all my quirks but has also loved my husband like he is one of their own. God is definintely taking care of us as newlyweds and he reminds us that He will supply all of our needs! For example, our move in 2 weeks, completely sent from the Lord and exactly what we need at this time in our life.

I hope you all have a wonderfully blessed Thanksgiving this year!

Overdue Update

I have been such a horrible blogger! I feel a little bad about this but hear me out. Here is my rational. I spent to years in Russia as you know and I was heavily dependent on my computer and technology to keep in touch with people. I was constantly updating facebook with photos of all the cool stuff I saw. I was on skype a few times a day talking with Cliff and my family. So now I live in America again, and those people are near me everyday. So I have been trying to stay off the computer so much and spend time with those I love the most. But I will try my best to get better again.

So updates..... Wedding planning is going so great. I have my dress, well I have ordered it and it should be in any day now. I have already picked up my veil, petticoat and jewelry. The church is booked, the reception is booked and the food is booked. We need to get some pics done so we can send out Save the Date's this month. I should have done that during these snow days the last two days.

Here is a sneak peak at the dress. I LOVE IT!!!!

In other things... I absolutely love my job! I have 21 little 3rd graders who steal my heart everyday. I was really dreading going back to work after such a great break. But after about an hour of being there I was glad to be back. I missed spending so much time with Cliff. He was just begging me to get home as soon as possible. He doesn't start back to coaching till Monday so he was a little bored without me. We have just had the best time watching movies, playing tons of games, and playing in the snow. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with this wonderful man!!

I promise I'll be better about updating now. I had an awesome football weekend in Dallas so I'll post some stuff soon!

Engaged!

I have been horrible about updating since I got home and started working. I am not only loving my job but got engaged tonight to the absolute love of my life! I thought I would share a few pics!

Hawaii

I know I am a horrible blogger this summer. I promise to update later!



Training has been awesome this week. I am a bit overwhelmed and on information overload but it will be great! I can't wait to come back and work.



I am coming back because I am heading to Hawaii in a few hours! I'm going to spend a few days with my honey and to bring him home to me! I can't wait.



I promise pics later, and more updates!



It has really been a fun summer full of blessings!